Top Reasons Why the  Isn't so Bad
Thanks for the best of pod everyone! Wow. I go on break for a week and go from a nothing with 18 hits, to having a best of pod with 470 hits total on all of my pages! I have one problem though. . . I am unable to be at the chats most of the time, so I would use the message board, but it doesn't seem to work for this pod. I can't add a message. So if you would like to comment, ask questions, or anything; please sign my guestbook until it is fixed. Thanks again!
Click here for some facts about Y2K.
This is merely intended for enjoyment. The problem is real, but we need to lighten up or we will cause a crisis to happen. Remember the great depression? Well it can almost be entirely blamed on the fact that the leading economist said that the stock market would go down, so all the rich decided to get out, and since they were the ones making all the money, people followed suit. People took money out of the banks since they thought that they would fail, and without any investments, they did. There is a lesson to be learned there as well as the disaster of the first millenium caused by similar panic based upon people making the stuff happen. Please keep this in mind
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34) Just think, all those demo programs that you downloaded. Your 30 days ran out, but what's the date today? Jan 1 1900 you say? Wow, that's way before your 30 days, of course you can use this evaluation copy!
33) When your boss or teacher says, "I need that paper by tomorrow." You can reply with confidence, "Due to Y2K technical difficulties, my virtual dog on my computer ate it."
32) Always remember, if your computer is giving you problems on 2000 and refuses to pay attention that "A computer's attention span is only as long as its power cord."
31) Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. Will not occur since REALITY.SYS was never created. It's still just a source code that was never compiled.
30) Y2K compliant only means that it Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source anyway.
25) Computers crash all the time, electronic equipment always seems to spend more time with problems than working anyway, so the times a little messed up.....
24) If your computer gets possessed on January 1, 2000, just remember: DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS
23) Here's a tip to prevent any problems: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
22) Here's another: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
21) If the world does come to an end simply: SAVE YOUR BUFFERS, BACKUP you files, LOGOFF, and leave in an orderly fashion.
20) Besides, doesn't expecting the worst make the worst make the worst come true?
19) It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time.
18) Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
17) Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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16) Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
15) LPT1 not found .. Use backup - PENCIL & PAPER
14) Just think, if the government doesn't upgrade, of all the tax refunds the government would owe you for taxing you when you don't exist!
13) You can start all over with a clean credit history! No electronic records!
12) Remember the car you're trying to pay off? you haven't bought it yet so why keep paying for it?
11) Hey, just think what stuff cost way back then!
10) For those who keep writing the wrong date on papers can claim that they already turned their work in before it was due.
9) January 1, 200 is simply the last day of your life so far at that point.
8) If you need an appointment, particularly on the weekend, just tell them that if they check the date that it wasn't a weekend on that day in 1900.
7) Just think, technology advancement back then was actually improving stuff!
6) For those who fear losing their jobs once the problem is fixed, just think of all the opportunities for 10000!
5) For those who don't know anything about technology will have places to work again, those who know a little can work at the places that prepared, and those who are technically oriented will all be in demand once again.
4) If you oversleep just tell your boss or teacher that your clock wasn't y2k compliant and that you thought you had 3,155,673,600 (give or take a few) hours left to sleep.
3) For those who hate being as old as they are: if you were born in 1960, you would be -60 years old in computer years!
2) Hey it might even beat blaming things on el-nino which has run out.
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Just think of the Number 1 Computer Error!
IN THE BEGINNING
[author unknown]
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
%Let there be light!
#Enter user id.
%God
#Enter password.
%Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create light
#Done
%Run heaven and earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
%Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create firmament
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let
the dry land appear and
#Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
%Create dry_land
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
%Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create sun_moon_stars
#Done
%Run sun_moon_stars
#And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%Create fish
#Done
%Create fowl
#Done
%Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%Create cattle
#Done
%Create creepy_things
#Done
%Now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create man
#Done
%Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
#Too many command operands. Try again.
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%Insert breath
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
%Move man to Garden of Eden
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
%Create Garden.edn
#Done
%Move man to Garden.edn
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
%Copy woman from man
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
%Create desire
#Done
%Run multiplication
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create freewill
#Done
%Run freewill
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Undo desire
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Help
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Create tree_of_knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create good, evil
#Done
%Activate evil
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn.
#1 errors.
%Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
#Search failed.
%Delete shame
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Stop
#Unrecognizable command. Try again
%Break
%Break
%Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS:
COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE
MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
%Create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
%Destroy earth
#Destroy earth: Please confirm.
%Destroy earth confirmed
#COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday,
Approx. funds remaining: $0.00.
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